I had a dream last night where Elle Woods was defending Reese Witherspoon in court.
“It was like senior year, only funner!”
Then, the dream morphed into Reese Witherspoon’s actual arrest, except she was dressed as June Carter Cash. She was “autoharping” while Joaquin Phoenix took a field sobriety test where he failed to “walk the line”, if you will.
Looks like my dream wasn’t entirely untrue. Witherspoon was arrested for disorderly conduct in Atlanta Friday morning for trying to disrupt the DUI arrest of her agent husband, James Toth. The couple was arrested and bailed out early the next morning.
Witherspoon managed to shout out a number of delightful celebrity drunkenisms, including:
“Do you know my name?”
The officer said no. (Yea, right! Who doesn’t know Reese Witherspoon?!)
“You’re about to find out who I am!” She then pulled up her IMDB page.
Okay, just kidding about that last part. However, despite being tanked, Witherspoon was remarkably clairvoyant as she stated, “You’re going to be on national news.”
Needless to say, does anything keep a celebrity from walking the red carpet? I think not. Witherspoon did attend the premier of her new movie, Mud. Though she skipped the after-party as well as avoided questions from the media, she did put out a statement apologizing for her behavior.
“… I clearly had one drink too many and I am deeply embarrassed about the things I said.”
Okay, to the guy who talked like Keanu Reeves that I kept signing, “Part of Your World” to at a dive bar this weekend, I just put out the following statement:
“Ditto to what Ms. Witherspoon said.”
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